Tried And True

Well, Jan has been here an has gone. We had a fabulous time. Merwyn had bought a 12 pack of Michelobe Ultra and we drank the whole thing! Of course we were up until 4:00 this morning, each nursing a pleasant buzz. We started talking when she got here in the evening and didn't stop until the roosters were stirring. It's so cool. Like I said before, it's been a long time since we've seen each other, and was wrong on yesterday's post. I've seen her once since 1998. She came to my Dad's funeral in 2002.

Jan and my other most trusted friend, Sharon, have always been there for me. If not physically, then mentally and emotionally. They will not abandon me - kick my ass maybe, but not abandon. They are the only people who have never turned their backs on me. No matter what.

Both Jan and Sharon stood guard through one of the most brutal and hopeless chapters in my life. Then remained close and helped me to get back on my feet, then encouraged me to start living again - all that from 1000 miles away - both of them. I was humbled by their loyalty while the actions of my family told me that they had had enough of my desperation for love and the bad decisions I made as a result of it; and therefore wasn't worth their efforts. They didn't see that I was frantically trying to fill a vital need just as important as food and water. The roots of my foolhardyness were from the lessons instilled in me from an early age by both my parents and the incidental circumstance of life. They always blamed me for what others did to me, and then continued to hurt me by what they didn't do for me when I needed it. In one instance, they didn't even get me medical attention while I was experiencing a miscarriage. I was on my own. But Jan and Sharon stayed close even though they lived across the country. I will write about this time in my life in the future, but for now I have to keep it to myself and trusted confidants. The thought of sending the story out into cyberspace scares me for now.

Back to the present: Jan got a call from Swift, the company that she drives for. They had a load for her to deliver to Indianapolis so she had to leave. That's okay. I knew she wasn't off work this weekend. She was basically on call. Jan said she'll probably be back during the week on her way back to Flagstaff. Now that her life is pretty much stable and she's been here I have a feeling that the Trucker(my Dad's knickname for her) will be back a lot more. She's family. I told her that she's not a guest anymore. Now she has to get up and get _____ herself. ;)

That's about it for now. There will be more so tune in tomorrow. :)