Sunday, September 13, 2009

Depression Episode #3963

Although it seems like it sometimes, I haven't had that many episodes. I haven't written in 10 days so I thought I would. David has to go see the therapist in a bit; I am letting my hair dry some before having to blow dry it. My depression is still in full force. I can't keep my eyes open after I wake up in the morning. I have just enough time to take my blood sugar and eat breakfast before I fall asleep against my will again. When I am up I can't get anything done. There is so much around here that needs to be done. I'm overwhelmed. Does anyone offer to help? Hell no. Not unless I start the ball rolling. Once again I have to have the balls in this family. Still taking my meds, and going to therapy. I'm taking care of the diabetes for the most part - I haven't been exercising like I should. I don't know why. I forget to. Which is unusual because I like to exercise.

God, I sound whiny. I know it's not whining. It's chemical. I guess I gotta do like I tell David and grab a hold of my thoughts and make me focus on another path. I should get out my The Far Side books. They never fail to make me laugh. Gary Larson is a genius. Thinking about vacation helps with this too. Merwyn and I are going to map out our vacation later today. I told him how The Grand Canyon isn't as far as it looks, and he seems to be interested. So we'll see. I'm also waiting for Denise in Detroit to let me know what she thinks of my letter for Phil. I'm sending him a package that will actually be put into his hands, so I wrote a letter to put in the box since I know he'll read it. Everything else is ready to go. I'm not saying what I'm giving him as yet. Not until I hear he got the package safe and sound. Then I'll probably write a whole blog about it.

There are things I can do to help my situation towards getting better, but I cannot completely erradicate it. Medication and therapy has turned my life around 180degrees. And as for the hell I went through, the meds made it possible for therapy to work. I hate this. Why do I have to be in this? Why can't I just go on about my life and not be bothered with depression. Actually two kinds of depression. Together the condition is called Dysthymia. I've got to go. more later.

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